Why I chose to be fat for my wedding

I love a meal overflowing with texture and taste - both are extremely important in a euphoric dinner.  I enjoy quality taste and an absurd quantity of texture.  I love how noodles and breads feel in my mouth, and I simply never want to put their tastes away.  Eating is genetic in my family; my mothers live to dine well and enjoy food to the point where they know many local chefs by their first name.  Why should I betray a family tradition when I'm planning a wedding that brings families together?

Eating simply makes me happy.  I love flavors rolling across my tongue, how Brie and crackers makes a delicious afternoon snack.  Planning a wedding is stressful, and I want all of my vices available to me, especially the delicious ones.

Not to mention, my dress is a little too big, and it would better if I gained 5 pounds - or 20.  It's freeing to know with 12 days before my wedding, my seamstress would prefer if I ate too much than not enough.  I don't think that happens enough with brides-to-be.

Most importantly, Kate will think I'm beautiful no matter how thin or fat I am.  Brides are always beautiful, anyway.

So last night I decided to enjoy my fat bride-dom and relish all the Brie, ice cream, and In-N-Out my body can handle.  I'll return to my Healthy Body Routine after the wedding and honeymoon.  That too makes me happy, but doesn't relieve stress in my current time-crunched life.  In the meantime, bring on the lemon cheese pasta and make my mouth water!

For those who are inclined to disagree, I say: Yes, I am fat.  I am technically obese and happy to have curves.  I intend to lose weight in my future, but in large part because I like how my body feels when I'm active and eat well.  I like how my mind feels when I'm inactive and eat poorly.  I often struggle between fat positive and healthy living, though one doesn't necessarily have to preclude the other.  It just always has for me.  

Why do I keep liking non-traditional expensive jewelry on etsy?

Kate's snake skin wedding shoes

If you've ever met Kate you might be a little shocked to hear that she wanted shoes that were so cutting edge they're not even in stores yet.  You might be more shocked to hear that these shoes are: purple, fake snake skin, and have three flowers on top.  I'd show you a picture if I could, but the shoes haven't been released yet.

Kate, Aunt Jane, and I went shopping for shoes in Walnut Creek's Macy's.  The Macy's is going through some serious remodel and the place was a bit of a mess.  So much of a mess, evidently, that they put out the Kenneth Cole Reaction lilac ballet flats before they were supposed to be released.  We found them, Kate loved them, and the shoes didn't come in her size.

So, naturally, we went back home and started Googling.  Except the entire internet had not heard of these shoes.  Zappos, shoes.com, Kenneth Cole's website, Google images, and Google images sorted by color had never seen shoes like this.  Kate and I both started to wonder if we had hallucinated the shoes.  But since we both remembered the purple, flowered, snake skin ballet flats - well, that would have been one good hallucinogen to alter BOTH our memories.

Finally, after a few mis-dials, hang-ups, and a lot of time on hold I was able to get in touch with the Walnut Creek Macy's, who cleared up the whole mess. The shoes, just in, weren't yet on display or released.  We were going to have to find a Macy's that had the not-yet-released shoes in stock.

Thankfully, Pleasanton's Macy's came to our rescue.  By far the most customer service oriented of the Macy's we visited and spoke with, we placed the shoes on hold and easily went to go and pick them up later that day.

So now Kate has her entire outfit, though sans jewelry, and some pretty awesome shoes to match.  Who knew my suit-wearing bride's shoes would out femme my own?  Love is always such a lovely surprise.

Kate's "wedding dress"

Banana Republic (and Gap and Old Navy) had a 30% off sale this weekend, and we found Kate's "wedding dress"!  BR no longer sells the vests online, but they had plenty of them in the store.  Kate looks great in the vest and pants, and we're really excited to have found something that she wanted.  All we need to do is find her a great button down!

Wedding dress re-visited

Remember that beautiful and simple wedding dress I bought?  Well, I just bought a different one.*

First, I needed to lose weight for that dress to fit me properly.  I'm not losing weight (or gaining either, thankfully), but that means that I was starting to get nervous about the dress.

Second, I gave into the Wedding Industrial Complex. Well, more specifically, Kate and I gave in.  She has encouraged me to spend lots of money (a lot of money to me at least) on a dress filled with sequins and embroidery and puff.  So we went to David's Bridal** yesterday and I tried on some dresses.

I liked the dress I bought originally.  But then I tried on something with a little more typical wedding-ness (embroidery, sequins).  Kate really liked it on me.  I thought it looked pretty too.

So I went to the internet and started googling.  And this is what I came up with.

Another A-line dress with embroidery.  I'm a little nervous about the sequins, but I did confirm the broach comes off (if you look at the pictures on the website).  It has a corset back and comes pre-bustled (thank G-d!  I don't want a train!)  I think it looks pretty.  And Kate's really into it - which is the important part.

I'm going to have to have it taken in, but it saves me from the problem I'm having right now.  The dress most definitely will fit.

*I had been saying the whole time that I can simply sell the dress again on eBay and recoup the $60 I spent on the dress.  Not that big of a deal.


**Do not go into David's Bridal on a weekend without an appointment.  You will regret it.  Also, David's Bridal is a scary contributer to the Wedding Industrial Complex and continues the myth that a wedding day is the bride's most important day ever.  Ugh.

What do you think?

I want an elegant necklace to go with my simple dress.  I was thinking pearls, but I really like this.  What do you guys think?  Details here.

Gorgeous!

I'm totally in love with this necklace and everything else that's on creationtwinne's etsy.  A little more modern than I was expecting, but I just love how she creates these necklaces.  I emailed her to ask if she can do one with purple and pearls.  I look forward to hearing back.

Perfect shoes for a perfect dress

If you know me, you probably know I love shoes, especially comfortable and cute shoes.  I'll spend a lot of money on shoes.  And after I got my dress, I promptly went looking for shoes on the Fluevog website.  Fluevogs are the most comfortable heels I have ever worn.  I adore them. And you know what?  They were having a sale, and I got the most fantastic shoes ever!  They came yesterday, and I have to say they're even more perfect than they looked.  The purple is a little darker than it is in this photo, which is what I wanted.

Well, what I really want are these shoes.  But I can't walk in a four inch heel.  Sadly.

I bought my wedding dress!!!

There is so much I want to write about, but I'm simply exhausted.  We just returned from visiting family all throughout California, and I'm glad to be home.  But I wanted to quickly update about my "Christmas present" to myself.  I bought/won the wedding dress!  I have a wedding dress!

More wedding dress details are over at this link. I bought the dress for a total of $68, though I expect alterations will cost me a pretty penny (if I end up paying for them instead of having a friend do them.)  I can't wait to try it on!  I'm dreaming of simple accessories - a strand of pearls, maybe - and just being very elegant.

Yay!  I'm so excited!

It's all about the dress - kind of

Over here on blog-central, it's been all about the dress.  At home too.  But not because I want the perfect dress.

I want to get the dress shopping out of the way.  I don't really care about the "perfect" dress, I just want a dress I feel and look good in.  I know generally what that is (an A-line with a little detail).  To go green I've been looking at used dresses online, on eBay, eBay classifieds, craigslist, and Amazon.  But going online shopping isn't the same as doing it in-person.

I want something tangible to prove that I'm getting married, to prove that there is progress being made in this wedding planning business.  But the wedding is just a day, it's the marriage I care about.  And I'm going to feel beautiful and radiant on May 29 no matter what I'm dressed in.

But I did bid on a dress yesterday!  Who knows if I'll get it.  But it was the style I wanted and a great price.  I'd prefer to go dress shopping with my mom- and I still may do that even if I get this dress.  But how could I pass up a dress I really liked for $65?

No wonder

I just told my friend that I haven't had a one-on-one fun outing with any friend in months.  At first I thought I was exaggerating, but I just looked at my calendar, and - nope - it's true.  No wonder I haven't had time to do wedding prep!  I simply haven't had time.

Though, while in Sacramento last weekend for winter holiday with the family, Kate, Izzy (brother), April (bestie), and I jumped quickly into a bridal boutique on our way to lunch.  (We were passing it on the way, and I thought it would be fun to go inside.)  Even with 75% off the dresses, they were still way outside my price range.  Why would I spent $3,500 on a dress for one day?  Plus, I don't even like beading!  I don't get the wedding industrial complex.  The dresses weren't even pretty, they were just over-the-top.

Online dress shopping

My mom has been sending me some great wedding dresses after I wrote the last post.  Thanks, Mama!

More money than I'll spend on a wedding dress, but it's gorgeous!  Here $1,000- $1,500

 

Ball gown style at David's Bridal $750

 

Great A-Line with straps! David's Bridal  $200

 

Look at that detail! David's Bridal $950

Dress shopping

So that we match, I'm going to pick out my dress before Kate chooses her coordinating suit.  I haven't begun dress shopping, but after looking at the beautiful Jessica McClintock dress online I got excited and went to go try it on.  In gold. Of course the color was awful, but I also didn't like the cut of the dress.

Then I tried on this dress.  I hated the sweetheart neckline, but the dress itself was amazing.

Now I'm thinking of this, this, and this.  Simple, beautiful A-line white dresses.  I think I'm going to have to just have a seamstress add a sash and straps, sadly, because the bridal industry doesn't believe in color or practicality.  

A dress I love!

I love this dress, you guys.  Love, love, love, love, love it.  There are only three things that would make it better:

1. If it came in my size
2. If it came in white or champagne or some other off-white color
3. If it had a sash.  I want a sash to add some pizazz and color.

This is the first dress that I have been inspired by.  Tonight I'm going to go to Jessica McClintock to check out what other fabulous dresses they might have.

THE dress

I've watched a few episodes of "Say Yes to the Dress", and it's all rather obscene.  Rather than feeling inspired to spend thousands of dollars on a dress, I feel like running the other direction - right into a sun dress.  I do not want to look like an ice queen or sexy beauty pageant princess.  I want to look fantastic and beautiful - and I don't need an $11,000 dress to accomplish that.

I'm not intoxicated by most of the traditional gowns.  I want a dash of color.  I want some pizazz.  I want straps to keep it up that heavy white beast, because I'm going to dance the night away.  But, most of all, I want to feel both comfortable and beautiful.  Traditional "bridal gowns" don't feel like they even begin to give you those options. I am not looking forward to wedding dress shopping in a few months.  Any ideas, friends?

Wedding dresses

Yesterday, I almost bought a $80 wedding dress at Thrift Town.  It was almost perfect: ballroom, with straps, used, and not too ornate.  But it was a size too small and too long, and with all of the necessary alternations, combined with the fact that I didn't even know if it would fit after letting out the seams, kept me from purchasing it.  I'm still hopeful that with seven months to go, I will be able to find that used, perfect dress.  Or maybe I'm just living in fantasy land...

Just dreaming...

I'm not in the wedding dress market yet, but sometimes it's nice to dream...

David's Bridal Satin Off-the-Shoulder A-Line with Side-Drape wouldn't fit me anyway...

Oh my goodness, do I love these Pearl Hart Fluevogs 

I'm the dress. I hope there's a vest!

All I'm going to say is that Kate would look freaking hot in a vest.  Do you hear me, honey?  HOT!

I guess I also want to say that Offbeat Bride has another amazing wedding featured on their site.  This one's of a super cute big lesbian couple who went up to Canada to get married.  It might sound familiar to some of you, because you've heard me talk ad nauseum about how amazing and transformative my moms' Canadian wedding was for me.  (They too went to British Columbia to get legally married.)  So now I'm talking Canada without talking about the gross stuff (how awesome my parents are, and how much I love them, and blah blah blah).  Nope.  Just that Kate is pretty hot.  And would look pretty hot in a vest.