A very short meditation on Day 1 of married life

Today we opened some of the cards and gifts that people have given us, and I felt so, so loved.  Yesterday, I felt so overwhelmed with love and opening those cards immediately brought those feelings back to me.  Kate and I are so lucky to have found one another and to have an outstanding community of friends and family who care for us.

The wedding was magical.  The reception too.  Our rabbi invoked the moment, and I was so glad to just stand under the chuppah with my love.  I cried as our rabbi and then parents blessed us, and as I saw the beautiful woman who is now my wife.  Later, at the reception, I was just surrounded by love and kind words.  It felt like it was over in a flash, and I didn't nearly get to say hello to everyone I wanted.  With a few very minor exceptions, the day was perfect.  We had a few great secrets up our sleeves for the day, including the rabbi's processional and our recessional, and it was fun to create a meaningful and fun space for everyone to (hopefully) enjoy.

More probably later.  In the meantime, I'm going to do laundry for the honeymoon, and I was wondering if you would like any of our leftover bubbles, baskets, aisle runners, table numbers, or anything else we come across as we unpack all the stuff from the wedding.

Calling in sick

Before this week, Kate and I have never been sick at the same time.  We've passed around the same sickness more than once, but always manage to get it at different times.  Unfortunately this week we've learned that when we're both sick at the same time we sound a lot like whining two years old.

Kate's sick with a stomach bug and my cold has come back with revenge in mind.  At last weekend's retreat, many folks came down with the stomach bug.  Kate's theory for my illness is that my immune system, fighting hard to keep puking at bay, has forgotten to fight off my cold as well.  It has become worse than it was last week, which is especially frustrating because I was finally considered myself "almost recovered" as of Sunday.

With the wedding just a few days away, I'm thankful that Kate and I have spent the last few weeks in a mad rush to the finish.  Since we returned home on Sunday, we've barely had enough energy to feed the cats, much less do almost anything wedding related.  There are still the programs to finish and the table numbers to glue, but we thankfully have nothing too time consuming to do before the wedding.  In the meantime, we've been sleeping in excess and I have been feeling guilty about - once again - calling in sick.  Ultimately, though, I feel resting now is the right thing to do.  I'm certain Kate will feel better before the wedding, but with this persistent two week cold I'm afraid that I'll be sneezing as I say "I do" and napping during our dance party.  So I'm calling in sick - again - and trying to get my head on straight enough to make sure all the vendors are paid, all the instructions are clear, and trying not to mind my 5 hour naps in the middle of the day.

But I seriously can't believe that Kate and I are BOTH SICK just 4 days before the wedding.  This is almost the worst.  (The worst would be actually being sick at the wedding.  Fingers crossed for health.)

A week and a half before the wedding

A few weeks ago, Kate and I went to a friend’s wedding.  The entire (lovely) weekend, Kate was a walking to do list while I was confident everything would come together for our own Big Day.  A few days later, I joined Kate in the stress.  There are so many small details that need to be taken care of, and so little time!

Since then, we’ve created and updated over a dozen Google Documents, including:  Wedding budget, Wedding program, Wedding to do list, Wedding to do list for all, Music, Photo list, Wedding guest list, Very important wedding information, Wedding day schedule, Make up, and Aufruf Honors.  And that’s just the online documents.  We’ve also (almost) finished our centerpieces, aisle runners, and room set up; determined our wedding hair; bought me a new wedding nose ring; picked up our ketuba; finalized seating arrangements – for the ceremony and reception; confirmed with all of our vendors; ordered wedding cake; hired servers; planned meals for Friday and Saturday; and talked lovingly with our parents, who are planning other exciting activities for us that weekend. 

What a difference three weeks makes.  Just as our newly married friends (whose anniversary is next Monday!!!) said, a month before the wedding is all stress, but as it comes closer, you can relax more.  They were so right.  There’s still a lot to do, but all of the major things are taken care of. 

I’m still in wonder of people who planned weddings before the age of the internet.  Google documents, email, and this blog has allowed us to share our wedding decisions with others, many of whom have outstanding suggestions and solutions.  People are eager to help in a way that’s extremely humbling.  I’m so grateful for everyone who has been a cheerleader for this wedding and for our relationship.  Thanks to you, our stress is slowly easing into excitement, and I just can’t wait for the next 10 days to pass!!!

Why I chose to be fat for my wedding

I love a meal overflowing with texture and taste - both are extremely important in a euphoric dinner.  I enjoy quality taste and an absurd quantity of texture.  I love how noodles and breads feel in my mouth, and I simply never want to put their tastes away.  Eating is genetic in my family; my mothers live to dine well and enjoy food to the point where they know many local chefs by their first name.  Why should I betray a family tradition when I'm planning a wedding that brings families together?

Eating simply makes me happy.  I love flavors rolling across my tongue, how Brie and crackers makes a delicious afternoon snack.  Planning a wedding is stressful, and I want all of my vices available to me, especially the delicious ones.

Not to mention, my dress is a little too big, and it would better if I gained 5 pounds - or 20.  It's freeing to know with 12 days before my wedding, my seamstress would prefer if I ate too much than not enough.  I don't think that happens enough with brides-to-be.

Most importantly, Kate will think I'm beautiful no matter how thin or fat I am.  Brides are always beautiful, anyway.

So last night I decided to enjoy my fat bride-dom and relish all the Brie, ice cream, and In-N-Out my body can handle.  I'll return to my Healthy Body Routine after the wedding and honeymoon.  That too makes me happy, but doesn't relieve stress in my current time-crunched life.  In the meantime, bring on the lemon cheese pasta and make my mouth water!

For those who are inclined to disagree, I say: Yes, I am fat.  I am technically obese and happy to have curves.  I intend to lose weight in my future, but in large part because I like how my body feels when I'm active and eat well.  I like how my mind feels when I'm inactive and eat poorly.  I often struggle between fat positive and healthy living, though one doesn't necessarily have to preclude the other.  It just always has for me.  

16 days to go...

I wrote this yesterday, but then Blogger crashed.  So posting today. :)

I'm sick at home with 17 days to go until my wedding.  So what better thing to do than look at wedding websites in my PJs on the couch?

I stumbled upon a story of two women who were married in the mid-South.  It again reminded me how grateful I am to live with people who love and support me.  There is no one who is not coming to my wedding because I'm marrying the love of my life - who just happens to be a woman.  There is no one who has brought religion into a conversation as to why they can't support my decision.  No, I've just been loved and supported and our family and friends have been overly generous.  It's really overwhelming.  I feel so loved.

So, in short, thank you.  I love you too.

My mother is brilliant

It only takes three words to demonstrate my mother's brilliance: ice cream cake.

We were going to have ice cream sundaes.  But then you get into the logistics of how to serve the ice cream (pay servers? buy ice cream scoops? and how do you transport?).  MK humbly asked us something like, "I know you two have already probably thought about this, but just in case, what about ice cream cake?"

No, we hadn't thought of it.  I'm so glad my mother is brilliant.

There's paint everywhere...

With less than a month to go, we are knee-deep in details.  But at least some of the details are still fun!

Last night we stayed up late watching Veronica Mars and painting all sorts of fun stuff involving paint.  When looking at the wedding site a few days ago, Kate and I realized we're going to need aisle markers of some kind.  We went off to Urban Ore (this amazing Goodwill of sorts for all types of household needs) and found jar lids for something like 10 cents each.  Last night we painted them green and purple, and today we're going to glue fabric flowers in each one. The lids are going to be attached to fabric, and - viola! - we have aisle markers!

We wanted to decorate the walls of our reception site, but weren't sure how.  Then we went to our friend's house, who had these beautiful 5 x 7 photos hanging on her walls with clothespins and ribbon.  We stole the idea, and last night we painted the clothespins with some great green and purple metallic paint.  Paired with paint chips we "stole" from Home Depot, we will hang wedding blessings (which people bestowed upon us when we announced our engagement) on the walls along with other meaningful decorations.

And other big and fun updates include, I had my first wedding dress fitting last week and my dress fits!  Whew.  I was afraid it was going to be too big, but when tied up correctly, it looks great.  I think it'll look even better without a train, missing a set of tulle underneath, and with a bit of a hem.  Sorry, friends, no pictures of that quite yet.  I guess you'll just have to wait for a few more weeks...