Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Blogging about a life partner

I read a lot of blogs.  There's the "typical" wedding blogs: Style Me Pretty, 100 Layer Cake, Classic Bride, and Ruffled.  These blogs have sections called "real weddings" because most of the pictures are models trying to get you to pretend that their picture-perfect, Photshopped, size 0 stylized photo shoots are actually weddings.  Even their "real weddings" don't feel very real; it feels like the wedding is done for show, not for commitment or community affirmation.  (Not to mention, of course, everyone remains very straight.  You wouldn't want to ruin a wedding by allowing gay people in it.)  The blogs are pretty to look at and have cute things here and there, but my I prefer blogs show actual real and beautiful weddings.

My favorites are The Broke-Ass Bride, A Merry Wife, Offbeat Bride, and 2000 Dollar Wedding. There's a lot of reasons I like these blogs, but today's 2000 Dollar Wedding post was a prime example.  She talked about the joys of marrying a life partner.  Most of the fashion wedding blogs talk about the look, but few talk about the people and the marriage.  I want to marry Kate so I can spend my life with her, not so I can look like a princess for a day (though I have every intention of looking freaking awesome on my wedding day).

Sara, the author of 2000 Dollar Wedding, said:

In the process of planning a wedding, it can be so easy to get preoccupied with all the wrong things. There are so many details and distractions. But at its core, this is what it's all about. It's about formalizing our choices and our commitments. It's orchestrating a moment of seriousness and celebration that allows us to proclaim our love and our intentions out loud. It's a precious moment--worthy our attention and effort--but it's just one precious moment in a long line of many.

I would much prefer to get my advice from Sara than Calvin Klein any day.

Monday, August 30, 2010


Inspired in part by beautiful weddings like this one featured on Style Me Pretty, and in part by the fact that we both love nature, we have been tossing around the idea of getting married in a park.  On our way home from the gorgeous Pigeon Point hostel, we drove off Highway 1 to see if we could find any parks that might tickle our fancy.

We happened upon San Pedro Valley Park in Pacifica.  We haven't called them yet to figure out logistically what might be possible, but the location is absolutely gorgeous.  But, more importantly, they have tables!  Tables for 125 is hard to come by in parks!

If we were to have a park wedding, I have been thinking it might be cute to have a caterer make everyone their own picnic basket with goodies inside.  Then people can go back to the tables - with nice table clothes and center pieces - and enjoy some backyard fun, after which they'll play Frisbee, horeshoes, tag, and other fun games.

San Pedro Valley Park, Pacifica
Top (from L to R): Tree from "marriage site" (bottom right), tables to have the reception (x2)
Bottom: Horeshoes, moss that Kate really likes, the clearing I'm calling the "marriage site"
From Collages

Yay! We're getting married!

I am here to announce the engagement of my awesome self, Ms. Margee Churchon, to the Lovely Lady Kate Smallenburg.  (She wouldn't like me saying Ms. Kate Smallenburg because that implies one of two genders and there's someone out there who doesn't fit in the binary gender model, and she likes to be all inclusive and stuff.)

We started this blog because you love us.  You ask us all sorts of awesome questions, and we wanted to be able to show you some of the awesome ideas we're throwing around.  So, come and join us for the ride as we explore venues, caterers, decorations, and reveal some tidbits about ourselves.

We're looking at a date in summer of 2011 (June, August, or September) somewhere in the greater Bay Area.  It'll be a nice, big Jewish wedding.  Our wedding is really important to us - we view it as community affirmation of our relationship - and actually, the biggest frustration in this whole process is that practicality keeps us from inviting all of our big, loving, amazing community.  We're blessed with many family members (okay, Kate's blessed with many family members - she has more aunts than I have family), and we're really excited to be under the chuppah with family and friends.